Tails

“Tails” refers to the tail slate, the clap at the end of a take when things get flipped around—and this blog is just that: a flipped-around peek behind the scenes of my second feature.

recent posts

about

  • 2 Days Until Filming

    I told my lead about the fire. Tried to keep it neutral and informative since that’s all that it truly was. Now I’m a bit worried she’s going to get on the plane to fly here.

    Closed on most of my other actors today. Amazing casting progress. But only helpful if I have a lead to film alone the first two days.

    I should feel more accomplished right now but I still haven’t finished going through and making notes I my own script.

    I keep getting distracted by putting out fires. Figuratively and literally.

    DP and Gaffer want to shift the schedule every day here to basically be 1pm-1am. I get it. Why fly everyone all the way up here just to tent the set out every night in a way that makes it so being on location is like being on a set anyway.

    It would be fine if it had been something discussed earlier. I’m worried the college isn’t going to be okay with the shift. I would not worry about that ordinarily except that they all seem so overwhelmed by dealing with the aftermath of the fire. Which is completely fair and understandable. They’re dealing with something insane and we’re over here whining about what is convenient for our movie.

    So we shall see.

    And I’m sure the crew is not going to love the shift in the schedule. It’s not really what we promised them when they signed onto the project.

    Again – none of this is wrong or bad. It’s just not what we had asked for / promised.

    So I get if everyone hates me right now. I kind of hate me right now.

    I feel so gross asking people to cater to me ever. And to ask people for anything when they’re dealing with anything else – especially the aftermath of a room being on fire – makes me feel awful.

    Now my lead might not show up at all.

    I didn’t even get a chance to FaceTime with my daughter today. I know she won’t remember me not being there in the long term. And I know she’s having a great time without me having to be there to give her a great time. But why do I deserve to pursue my own career above overseeing her daily happiness?

    What am I even doing here? Why is it important for me to even bring anyone here to tell this story? Why should anyone take the time out of their lives to be a part of this?

    I just feel sick to my stomach no matter which angle I look at myself.

  • 3 Days Until Filming

    There was a fire on campus where we are living and supposed to be filming. No one from the production was involved. One of our crew was scheduled to move into the building tomorrow. Doesn’t sound like anyone was injured, thank God! But it happened in a suite where our lead’s room was supposed to be. They’re clearly going to be short on housing now.

    Wondering if we should be housing our cast here. Wondering if we should be housing our crew here.

    Not sure if this falls under our insurance or the schools.

    Dorm room where we are filming is starting to look like a dorm room. Walking through art tomorrow.

    Callbacks for one of the major characters is tomorrow. I need to make a decision about another.

    We have an actor who should be flying in and filming next week but the attorneys are still working on his deal.

    All the last minute casting isn’t giving me much time to prep on location.

    Still haven’t finished making all my script notes.

    We film a reporter piece tomorrow that will play on a tv later in the film. I took note of how closely the school allowed reporters to get to the burned dorm room on campus. Seems like what I had planned is realistic.

    Not something I was expecting to confirm first hand.

    Can’t help but worry that bad things come in threes.

  • 4 Days Until Filming

    Getting closer to finalizing some cast, but it’s getting closer to filming and therefore more stressful.

    Moved furniture around in the main set but no decorating done yet.

    I know progress was made today, but I’m itching to be able to see more of it physically.

    The rest of the week should be busy. I’ll go insane if it isn’t.

    Behind on my script notes. I need to really focus on those tomorrow.

  • 5 Days Until Filming

    Drove up to our first location today. Art is getting started on dressing the first location tomorrow. Only a few of us up here tonight.

    Listened to an episode of “what went wrong.” Did not make me feel better.

    Closed the two biggest cast members today. I know I’m filming someone on Monday.

    Had a meeting with someone to replace the nudity back out. I think we’re good now?

    Another meeting tomorrow with another actor.

    One of the locations is suddenly MIA.

    Local Guinea pig handler also MIA.

    Starting to think that favors from friends that are cheap are just unreliable.

    Budget feels like it’s exploding.

    Wasn’t able to really FaceTime with our daughter today due to bad service. I feel awful about that.

  • 6 Days Until Filming

    I’m so used to taking on way more production work. I’m basically feeling panicked over all the production office work I haven’t coordinated or props I haven’t picked out. But we’ve hired people to do those things this time. Amazing people to handle those problems. But it still feels weird. And wrong. I guess now I’m supposed to just be …directing?

    Before, I always had built in excuses for why I wasn’t more focused on directing – I was wearing a million hats! But now I have no more excuses. So if I’m terrible, then that means I’m just a terrible director. No more hiding it behind other work.

    Made a lot of headway with cast deals today but still they haven’t quite closed. Getting so close though. The actors have started talking with me, which I think is a great sign.

    What do directors who actually get rehearsal time even do with their actors? Maybe one day I’ll find out.

    Heard some phantom cries from my daughter last night. Not sure when that will stop.

  • 7 Days Until Filming

    I hate how little progress I can make on the weekend with casting.

    Costumes dropped off some boxes. I’m not sure how she was able to do so much without many sizes or many actors cast to dress.

    I dropped my daughter off with family for the next three weeks. I feel like an ass about it. I would love to find a way to keep her closer on future projects. Hopefully this gives me space to focus on addition to the guilt.

  • 8 Days Until Filming

    One of the strong supporting roles involved nudity. I thought I had an actor locked in. Today she told me she thought about it some more, she’s not okay with the nudity, so she’s bowing out.

    It feels like every win comes with a loss.

  • 9 Days Until Filming

    We never told costumes that we definitely were not doing a rack check on Monday. It’s something they had requested to be moved. So we did. But we didn’t tell her. And her assistant is flying back early from her vacation to be there. For nothing. I feel awful about that. I can’t believe we didn’t go back and confirm with costumes.

    What else are we forgetting to do?

    Cast still isn’t locked in. Attorneys and reps going back and forth forever. It always makes me nervous that they’re stalling for a better project.

    Lead from my first feature volunteered to help out on set on days when she’s available. That will be so helpful for so many reasons. The extra hand. The confidence it will give my new actors that I’m not a weirdo.

    DP hired a new gaffer. He can luckily be on for the whole project. Fingers crossed he’s a good human and good at lighting.

    Finished locking in all the locations.

    Still need to finish going through and making notes on my script.

    Still need to pack.

  • 10 Days Until Filming

    Still scrambling to find a new gaffer. It still sucks to lose both a gaffer and a friend.

    Made some headway on casting deals but actors still aren’t closed yet. So frustratingly close. I’m hoping we can close some people tomorrow so they don’t all drag out over the weekend.

    I feel bad for costumes. But I also think some of the last minute casting has been good for booking some bigger talent.

    Settled on our show LUT. Stoked to actually have a LUT to work with on set. It’ll help me to not get too used to Rec709.

    I need a new computer but a certain spouse is worried about how much money we’re spending.

    Was reminded today that I need a composer. But I’m not sure what type I’m even looking for…

  • 11 Days Until Filming

    Gaffer just bailed on me.

    He was one of the first crew members we brought on. He came to table reads and gave feedback on the script. I flew him out to a location for a tech scout. I thought he was more invested in the project. I thought he was more invested in me.

    I made amazing headway on casting today. I should feel so much better than I do right now.

    I thought that I had that one box checked for so long. I feel so weirdly betrayed.