Tails

Today was a bad day for me personally.

We made our day and shot an “if time” scene a lot of people didn’t think we would be able to get.

The scenes before lunch, which were the ones I was the most stressed about, went great.

Then it all fell apart for me.

It started when someone was freaking out at my spouse. So they were freaking out at me. And I was matching his energy. Even though it was a short moment and I was able to resolve the situation for everyone, I think that’s when things started to go south for me mentally.

There was a scene that was supposed to have topless women in the background. I did not set it up well. All of the actors then declined to be topless. Now I feel embarrassed/gross/panicked/ashamed.

And then my production team started in on me. Texting me in all caps about problems they were having and requesting more office support.

This production feels like it keeps growing out of the proportion that I ever expected.

My spouse wanted to go over some things from today and talk about tomorrow, but I thought it would be better to make some calls. Make sure each department felt supported. Make sure I could solve my problems.

And I ended the night thinking that I have patched things up with everyone. That I have a game plan to fix my problems tomorrow. For a moment, I thought everything was okay.

And then my spouse had to say “if only you had been patient enough to wait and do this next year – this all would’ve been worked out and none of this would’ve happened.”