Tails

I think I messed up the days in my countdown timer. But I can’t really go back now.

I’ve been thinking – I don’t really have the ego that is normally required of people who are directors. I worry that is setting me up to fail. But I’m not sure what else I would do. Nothing else holds my attention.

When I first picked up a camera, I would film my family and my friends. I was always just capturing moments and then trying to do those moments justice in the edit later.

My family and friends were patient and not judgy. I wasn’t paying them to show up. They were just happy to be there with me. They were excited to see what I was going to do with the footage.

My crew is definitely underpaid, and it makes me even more nervous about how quickly they’re going to become annoyed with me. Impatient with me. Assume that my ego being different than other directors means I’m not capable and they’ll try to walk all over me.

It really doesn’t help that our first gaffer bailed so close to shooting. I think that really messed with me. He wasn’t just a gaffer. He was giving notes on the script while we were writing it. It felt like he was going to be a key collaborator. Someone I could turn to on set for ideas I trusted and knew would fit my goals for the movie. Even though we weren’t that close as friends (he was more friends with my spouse), it felt like I had been dumped.

Who else is going to bail on me?

Realized that we arranged the furniture in our set in a way that doesn’t make sense for blocking our inciting incident. Now we have to call Art in early to try and fix it. I have no idea how we could rearrange the furniture to fix that. I hate starting our shoot off with fixing a major problem. But at least we realized it before any furniture was established.

What else have I messed up?

What other mistakes are hiding?

Still haven’t finished making my notes in the script. The more I make, the more ideas and clarity I have. So I know it’s important to finish.

Most of the crew is here. One person had a flight cancel and they’re now driving up the whole way. I’m worried about them driving so far so late.

The next 24 hours is going to be insane.